Leave me alone!

When the phone rings in my house, everyone in my family rushes to the phone and checks the call display to see who is calling. If they are unsure about the number, they just let the phone ring and sit back down. The most annoying situations is when I am praying salat and am expecting a phone call. The phone rings and I hear a rush to the phone, but no one picks it up and it continues to ring, distracting me from my salat.

Almost every evening I get a few calls from telemarketers, trying to sell me anything from duct cleaning to life insurance to donations requests from the UW alumni office. Due to the current habits of the members in my house, I have become the defacto "phone answerer". I consider myself a polite person on the phone, but these people are just plain annoying.

These days all of the telemarketers that call are South Asian. Trying to use the "ethnic card" on me fails, since I refuse to speak Punjabi with them. Most telemarketers call asking to speak to Mr.Sheikh, which I know is for my dad. I answer yes anyways, since I am Mr.Sheikh and give them the not, interested .... ok, bye (in my best Napoleon Dynamite accent).

The best comeback I heard to a telemarketer was on Seinfeld.

Seinfeld: (ANSWERING PHONE) Hello.
Telemarketer: Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI long-distance service?
Seinfeld: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'’ll call you later?
(A LONG PAUSE) Telemarketer: Well, I'’m sorry. We a’re not allowed to do that.
Seinfeld: I guess you don'’t want people calling you at home.
Telemarketer: No.
Seinfeld: Well, now you know how I feel.

Yes, Mr. Seinfeld, I definitely know how you feel.