On time

In South Asian cultures, it is quite common to arrive late for events, such as weddings. The arrival time for event invitations are often ignored and padded with a few hours to generate the “real” arrival time. The invitation time is typically the time when you start to get ready for the event.

The real rationale behind why we (South Asians) are always late is because we do not want to be early. If you come early to an event, you may be stuck helping the organizers finish some last minute tasks, or trying to kill time playing games on your cell phone, or deleting people from your phone directory.

The South Asians are not the only ones who suffer from “being late”, it seems the African people are similar.

The government of Ivory Coast created a punctuality contest to challenge people to arrive on time.

Narcisse Aka, a legal adviser aged 40, who has just won the country’s hallowed Punctuality Night competition — and a £30,000 villa — after he consistently turned up for work on time while his compatriots took a more relaxed attitude to punctuality. As the slogan of the competition goes, ‘African time is killing Africa; let’s fight it.’

Arriving on time is so easy yet me make it difficult for us. Think about the last time you arrived late at the airport to catch your flight, you could make your life easier if you had arrived an half hour early. Otherwise, you may end up like Jerry Seinfeld, who quoted:

You see? Never be late for a plane with a girl. Cuz a girl runs like a girl - with the little steps and the arms flailing out... You wanna make this plane, you've gotta run like a man! Get your knees up!

Technology overload

I remember in 1999 when I created my first email address. It was not something that I was pressured into doing, nor was it popular at the time. As years passed, everyone I know has created an email address or two and checks them frequently throughout the day. Email has become the preferred way of communication at school or work. It has become so prevalent that the good old fashion phone call or face-to-face meeting is becoming less popular. Obviously, phone calls and face-to-face meeting still have their place, but aren't we using email more than we should?

How many times have you exchanged an email with a group of people attempting to resolve an issue, where each person responds with a short comment? If someone had picked up the phone and called the person directly involved, the situation would be resolved quicker.

At work, I am usually surprised when I get a voicemail or if someone calls me because it happens so infrequently. I rarely check voicemail either, I wonder if I should create a more interesting voicemail message, probably something as funny as George's voicemail from Seinfeld.

George's Answering Machine: "Believe it or not, George, isn't at home, please leave a mes-saaage at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the pho-one. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not hooome.

I wonder what would be George's out-of-office reply or vacation response, the email equivalent of voicemail.

To read or not able to read

The avid reader of my blog should have noticed the addition of several new columns. Since high school, I have not read many novels. In-fact, I am not alone, most youth growing up today rather use the Internet, play video games, and watch television rather than read a book.

In my elementary schools days, I was an avid reader. In school, we had a program called book-it that rewarded kids who attained their reading goals. In high school, I worked part-time at Chapters and was allowed to borrow books from the store. During university, the only books I ever read were on Calculus, Economics, and Java. Hopefully, I can rejuvenate this reading passion with my current novel.

It has been a while since I have related a blog post to Seinfeld, so I shall leave this post with a quote from the Seinfeld episode where Jerry is fined for a book he has not returned since high school and George revisits his embarrassing atomic wedgie.

Jerry: What's amazing to me about the library is it's a place where you go in and take out any book you want. They just give it to you and say bring it back when you're done. It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everbody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend. And that's why everybody kind of bullies the library. I'll bring it back on time ... I'll bring it back late .... Oh, what are you going to do? Charge me a nickel?

Me and my camera - Part 1

I have been meaning to upload pictures that I have taken from trips this year but have been too busy to find anytime. It is a real busy not the "busy" because I am too lazy busy. I have noticed that nobody ever admits to "not being busy" rather people are either "chilling" or I get the "busy busy" with the shaking of the head and sighing. No one admits anymore that they are really doing nothing.

This situation reminds of a Seinfeld episode, where George pretends to be busy everytime his boss walks by so that he does not get any work.

Jerry: I thought that new promotion was supposed to be a lot more work.
George: Yeah, when the season starts. Right now, I sit around pretending that I'm busy.
Jerry: How do you pull that off?
George: I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.
Think about it... (acts annoyed for 3 seconds).
Elaine: Yeah, you do! He looks very busy!
Jerry: Yeah, he looks busy! Yeah!
George: I know what I'm doin'. In fact Mr. Wilhelm gave me one of those little stress dolls.
All right. (gets up) Back to work. (acts annoyed and leaves)
Elaine: (laughs)

I was going to talk about my photos here, but this post has become too long to serve my main attraction, so I end here and will continue in a subsequent post.

Look who is NOT talking

A reader of my blog told me that my posts are predictable, all involving a complaint about some life-experience and relating it to a Seinfeld moment. Initially, I disagreed, however, after some thought I realised there is some truth to his comment. Since my current blog title is an established “blog brand”, there will be no such name change and I will continue to complain and relate to Seinfeld. My latest experience involves cabby drivers.

Some time ago, I took a cab to the airport. I am typically in no mood to strike a long conversation with the cab driver. I will talk about the typical stuff, for example, gas prices, weather and traffic. However, my cab driver expects me to converse openly. As soon as I get in the car, the interrogation beings,

where you going? why you going?, where do you work?, etc…

To make matters worse, this cabby driver inserted a swear word into each sentence, I was shocked. Once I arrived at the airport and was about to enter the terminal, he wished me a safe trip and joked that I should participate in an inappropriate activity. I walked away in disgust and proclaimed never to use this taxi company again.

I am in no mood to give a full dissertation of my current life to a stranger. During my ride, I just want to stare out the car window and think about nothing. I recall a Seinfeld episode involving Elaine, who faked being deaf to avoid conversation. The following is a snippet of that conversation.

Driver: Dag Gavershole Plaza (sp?) huh? (Elaine ignores him) Pendant Publishing, that's books right? (Elaine is annoyed and still ignoring him) Miss?
Elaine: Pardon me?
Driver: Books, that's what you do?
Elaine: Yeah.
Driver: Yeah, I don't read much myself, (Elaine is annoyed) well you know besides the paper. Yeah a lot of people read to relax, but not me. You know what I do?
Elaine: You know I'm having a lot of trouble, um, hearing you back here. So...
Driver: (Yelling) I said you know what I do (Elaine is very annoyed) when I want to relax? The Jumble. Hey do you make a book of Jumbles?
Elaine: I'm going to have to be honest with you. I'm going deaf.

I will not resort to such measures, but I hope all my blog readers (probably the ones who have this blog on their RSS reader) understand mine and Elaine's pain.

Leave me alone!

When the phone rings in my house, everyone in my family rushes to the phone and checks the call display to see who is calling. If they are unsure about the number, they just let the phone ring and sit back down. The most annoying situations is when I am praying salat and am expecting a phone call. The phone rings and I hear a rush to the phone, but no one picks it up and it continues to ring, distracting me from my salat.

Almost every evening I get a few calls from telemarketers, trying to sell me anything from duct cleaning to life insurance to donations requests from the UW alumni office. Due to the current habits of the members in my house, I have become the defacto "phone answerer". I consider myself a polite person on the phone, but these people are just plain annoying.

These days all of the telemarketers that call are South Asian. Trying to use the "ethnic card" on me fails, since I refuse to speak Punjabi with them. Most telemarketers call asking to speak to Mr.Sheikh, which I know is for my dad. I answer yes anyways, since I am Mr.Sheikh and give them the not, interested .... ok, bye (in my best Napoleon Dynamite accent).

The best comeback I heard to a telemarketer was on Seinfeld.

Seinfeld: (ANSWERING PHONE) Hello.
Telemarketer: Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI long-distance service?
Seinfeld: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'’ll call you later?
(A LONG PAUSE) Telemarketer: Well, I'’m sorry. We a’re not allowed to do that.
Seinfeld: I guess you don'’t want people calling you at home.
Telemarketer: No.
Seinfeld: Well, now you know how I feel.

Yes, Mr. Seinfeld, I definitely know how you feel.

Good Samaritan or Fool ?

A few days ago at work, I was walking down the hall and found a $5 bill right outside the door. I looked around to see if someone had dropped it, but there was no one around. Since I found the bill right outside a door of another room, I thought that perhaps someone in that room had dropped that bill.

I walked into the room with the sole purpose of asking someone if they had dropped any money. I saw a shady looking man picking up some print-outs from the printer. I stared at him, but hesitated to ask him, but I felt awkward standing in the room with a $5 bill, so I eventually asked the man.

The man checks his pocket like he had a million bucks missing and answers "Yes", he did lose money. At this point, I was unconvinced but he had already seen the bill so I decided to give him the money anyways.

As I walked out of that room, I felt like I got played. I am sure that guy must think I am the biggest idiot to believe that stunt he pulled.

This situation, like many in my life, reminded me of a Seinfeld episode. It was the series finale, where Jerry, George and Elaine witness the robbery of a fat guy, which they all mock and Kramer videotapes. They are arrested under the Good Samaritan law established by the town.

After witnessing the robbery, a police officer pulls up to the group:

Officer: You're under arrest.
Jerry: Under arrest? What for?
Officer: Article 223-7 of the Latham County Penal Code.
Elaine: What? No, no - we didn't do anything.
Officer: That's exactly right. The law requires you to help or assist anyone in danger as long as it's reasonable todo so.
George: I never heard of that.
Officer: It's new. It's called the Good Samaritan Law. Let's go.

Maybe I should not have done nothing in my situation too, no good Samaritan Law exists in Toronto. I could have taken that money and donated it to charity or something. I tried to do the good Samaritan thing, but maybe I was a fool, you can be the judge.

Even the less fortunate have standards

I spent Saturday afternoon volunteering at a local community organization sorting donations to send to the Pakistan earthquake victims. I was appalled to see some of the items that were being donated. People have taken the opportunity to do some house cleaning by dropping off their old and un-hygienic clothes. I find this action totally disgusting. If you personally would not wear a set of clothes, do not donate them either. These unwanted donations waste everyone’s time because volunteers need to spend extra time sorting items and if sent, volunteers receiving these donations need to spend time looking for acceptable items.

PIA is taking these donations to Pakistan on their regularly scheduled flights. Extra amount of jet fuel will be required due to increased weight of the aircraft. If the goods we send are not satisfactory, money is being wasted by transporting these goods. My advice is that if you want to help with the relief efforts, you should donate money to relief organizations, so that they can buy the supplies required. If you would like to send something other than clothes, you should go to the mall and purchase tents and blankets.

This experience reminded me of a Seinfeld episode where Elaine dropped off the bottoms of muffins to the homeless. The following dialogue summarizes this situation:

Rebecca: Excuse me, I'm Rebecca Demore from the homeless shelter.
Elaine: Oh, hi.
Rebecca: Are you the ones leaving the muffing pieces behind our shelter?
Elaine: You been enjoying them?
Rebecca: They're just stumps.
Elaine: Well they're perfectly edible.
Rebecca: Oh, so you just assume that the homeless will eat them, they'll eat anything?
Mr. Lippman: No no, we just thought...
Rebecca: I know what you thought. They don't have homes, they don't have jobs, what do they need the top of a muffin for? They're lucky to get the stumps.
Elaine: If the homeless don't like them the homeless don't have to eat them.
Rebecca: The homeless don't like them.
Elaine: Fine.
Rebecca: We've never gotten so many complaints. Every two minutes, "Where is the top of this muffin? Who ate the rest of this?"
Elaine: We were just trying to help.
Rebecca: Why don't you just drop off some chicken skins and lobster shells?
Elaine: I think I might.